Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The car, my dad, and other sundry topics

My dad is good. I called my sister because usually no one lets her know. (she is the only one away from here to keep informed, and everyone used to think it was "someone elses" job.) She had just got done talking to him, and said when she got home my stepmother had even called and left a message. Thats good. She said he is feeling a lot better. One thing I hate is to call someone after surgery. I figure they need the time to rest and the last thing they want to do is talk to me on the phone. He is supposed to come home tomorrow, and then Thursday I think he goes to see his other dr. That will probably be the deciding factor on if they get to leave for vacation Sunday.

My car is done. We didn't go pick it up yet, we will do that tomorrow. It was the heater core and it was $280. Better than I thought it was going to be. YAY! I plan on only driving it local for a day or two just to make sure, but next week I go back to school and its going to be 74 miles a day 4 days a week. I am not looking forward to that. I get Friday's off. That,I am sure, will be study time. I am taking my dad's truck tomorrow to get my new books and go to the unemployment office for my day care voucher. I don't know yet how that works, but I am going to find out tomorrow.

I was thinking back today about an old friend of mine. I had some very close friendships in my younger years, and would have went to the ends of the earth for them. I have a few good friendships now, but not like that. One of the girls used to come over every night and her, my roomate and I would play cards. Every night. We all worked in the same factory, hung out all the time together, and we had a good time. It was those 2 that I tried pot with for the first time. Just the three of us sitting on the floor in a circle. One of them, K, gave me my first ear piercings. She used a needle, potato, and an ice cube. After the first ear it took me about 1/2 hour before I would let her do the second one. Anyway, on with my story..... She started dating this guy. He was very bad for her. She would call the apartment crying a lot. We would go get her, bring her to our place, and let her stay till they made up. We tried talking her into dumping him, but she wouldn't. To her, I think a lot of her self worth was tied up in men, and what people thought of her in general. He would hit her, and she would escape to our place, tell us all about it, then go back to him. I had a hard time with it, handling it. I tried to be there for her, but it was very hard. Sometimes I think I felt the pain more than she did. I was a basket case watching her make the decisions she made, and wondering if she would die by his hand. She was a foster child during jr. high and high school I know for sure. (needed for more background) My roomate and I used to pick her up for work and she called me one morning about 5 am. The connection wasn't good, and she told me that her real family had called her late the night before and her mother was in real bad shape and they didn't know if she would pull through. She wanted me to tell them at work that she had to go to another state and be with her mom. I felt so bad for her. I told them at work, and told my boss that she planned on calling in later. She would call me about every couple of days and let me know how wonderful her family was, how they had all taken her in with loving arms that she missed as a kid, and how her mom was getting better and she had apoligized for the way things had been between them.
Meanwhile, her b'f's exwife came up to me at work and said she had heard that my friend and her ex had went to California. He was a truck driver and used to take her on occasion. I told her that was a lie, cos she was in another state with her dying mother. Every day she would hammer at me about them. Every day I would get mad and ask why she was wanting to start more trouble. You don't pick on someone who is visiting a dying parent, right?
Turned out, the ex was right, and my friend lied to me about everything. She wanted to go on vacation, but knew it wasn't ok to do that and keep her job, so she lied. She fed me what she wanted me to believe because she knew how strongly I would stand up for her. I was the fool. I had never been so used, or so mad as I was when I found out. She had used our friendship against me, and it hurt. I believed her completely. That was the last time. It was a long time before I could even talk to her after that, and things were never the same.
I think to this day that is why I have trouble standing up for a cause, because I don't know if I know the whole truth or not. What if its all a lie, and I am just a fool again? I feel so wishy washy on things, but its hard to get facts that are completely truthful and not slanted. I am afraid to look like an ass all over again. I can do well enough on my own without people setting me up for it.
I sure miss life when I wasn't so jaded. I liked being able to trust. :(

God Bless, and thank God for mechanics. Let your friends know you care.

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