Thursday, November 24, 2005


I think its good to remember to be thankful sometimes. I try to be thankful all the time, but a reminder doesn't hurt.

I am thankful my dad is still here, but he is hurting. I don't expect him to be here next year, and I will miss him, but he won't hurt anymore.

I am thankful my neice was able to come to dinner today. She is due any time, but she felt pretty good so she came, and I am glad. She looks great. My sister gave her my mothers wedding ring today. They both cried. I kind of resent it, since I never got it. My brother gave it to my sister, bypassing me, because he said she didn't have anything of moms. I never got anything either. When my aunt passed, I got my moms bible, which I was going to give to my niece. Now, since I know I will never get the ring, I will probably keep it. Its been a sore subject with me, but I have to just let it go. My mom passed when I was 10. I can't remember her voice anymore, but I remember the love she had for us kids.

I am thankful for my son. He can be a pain in the butt, but he is the reason I get out of bed every day.

I am thankful for my home. It needs work, like me, but it keeps us warm and dry. After not having a home for quite awhile, I really appreciate it, and the fact that I have a place to lay my head every night.

I am thankful for friends. They keep me grounded, and value my opinion (at times. LOL)

God Bless, and don't forget to be thankful. It sure helps when you count your blessings.

Friday, November 18, 2005

The Cyborg Name Generator, and Sexy Name Generator

Totally Awesome!

I saw this today posted on a message board, and I LOVE it. I thought I would share. Click here
Its got music from the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and I thought it was truly amazing. I have watched it about 10 times today. I love technology. I just ordered me (another) Christmas present. I am getting the box set of the TSO Christmas Trilogy with the DVD. :) Its going to sound great with the surround sound. I took the slow boat option, so it will take a little longer to get here, but it helps me to feel less guilty. ;)

I am making some Cincinnati style chili. I haven't had any since I lived there, and I just loved it. I found a few different recipes, but so far this one smells like the "ONE". Its simmering away on the stove right now. I am going to make coneys since I am not a spaghetti fan. Here is the recipe:

1 large onion chopped
1 pound extra-lean ground beef
1 clove
garlic, minced
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon red (cayenne) pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa or 1/2 ounce grated unsweetened c
1 (15-ounce) can tomato sauce
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
1/2 cup water
1 (16-ounce) package uncooked dried spaghetti pasta

Toppings (see below)

In a large frying pan over medium-high heat, saute onion, ground beef, garlic, and chili powder until ground beef is slightly cooked. Add allspice, cinnamon, cumin, cayene pepper, salt, unsweetened cocoa or chocolate, tomato sauce, Worcestershire sauce, cider vinegar, and water. Reduce heat to low and simmer, uncovered, 1 1/2 hours. Remove from heat.

Cook spaghetti according to package directions and transfer onto individual serving plates (small oval plates are traditional).

Ladle chili over spaghetti and serve with toppings of your choice. Oyster crackers are served in a separate container on the side.

Cincinnati chili lovers order their chili by number. Two, Three, Four, or Five Way. Let your guest create their own final product.

Two-Way Chili: Chili served on spaghetti

Three-Way Chili: Additionally topped with shredded Cheddar cheese

Four-Way Chili: Additionally topped with chopped onions

Five-Way Chili: Additionally topped with kidney beans

Makes 6 to 8 servings.

I had to stock up on spices today when I went shopping. Its nice to get fresher ones from time to time. It has to cook for another hour and 14 minutes, IF I wait that long.

God bless, and I hope you have some awesome things happen to you today.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

I got called to the principals office

The last time I had to go to the office, I was 9 years old, and they wanted to know why my brother skipped school. (again) I am 46 years old, and after the phone call from the principal when I got home from class, I felt the same dread and butterflies that I felt so many years ago.

My sons teacher wants him labeled BD as a behavior problem. I am not sure what plan of action they take with that, but the principal said he doesn't want to label him. He wants to try a few things first. He said him and Gabriel have an awfully lot in common, and it seems that he had turned out to be a model citizen without taking a gun to school and offing his classmates. I am at my wits end.

God bless, and pray for my kid and me too. He needs to care, and I need to know how to deal with it.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

A quiz

97% scored higher (more stupid),
1% scored the same, and
2% scored lower (less stupid).

What does this mean? You are 2% stupid. This means...

You are our next Einstein. Wow! Keep up the great thinking.

Hahahaha. It was fun, anyway. Accurate? I will let you be the judge. :)

Friday, November 11, 2005


Dad's back in the hospital as of this morning. He has been having some pain, so the dr. sent him to the ER. They are going to keep him and adjust his meds and keep an eye on him. First they thought he may have had a small heart attack, but I am not sure if thats the diagnosis now or not. He may be in for up to 4 days. I guess I will find out more later.

Tomorrow is kidlets 6 hours detention. I got a note back from the teacher, and she said in a months time, if they earn 5 tickets, its worth 2 hours. Every ticket after that is worth an extra 2 hours, and he recieved 10 tickets in October, so he should have to do 10 hours, but they are only going to enforce 6. I don't know what to do with him. He takes no responsibility for anything, and it DRIVES ME CRAZY. He is concerned over how the no tv/computer/company thing is going to go tomorrow. My b/f said I should get a lot of studying done, but I know I will have to put up with a whiny moany, pouty kid. Sometimes running away sounds like a plan. :(

I am going to bed. I sure hope the critter in the ceiling doesn't decide to keep me up again. I had a dream about it last night. Not a good thing.

God Bless, and pray for some strength for me, and my dad. Thanks.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

My dad (2)....

came through great. He may be home this evening. I went to see him today after my big test. He said they had him out walking earlier. He has a slight infection, so they had him wired for antibiotics. He got done with those while I was there. I am glad. He is feeling better already, but still feels "drugged" which is understandable.

I got a note today that my son has Saturday school again this weekend. He was just there 2 weeks ago, and spent 2 hours. Somehow, in the span of 2 weeks has earned 6 HOURS detention. They said it was for behavior and no homework. He keeps saying its not his fault. He forgets, or it fell out of his folder, etc. I don't know what to believe. I plan on calling the school tomorrow and finding out how he earned 6 hours already. This really sucks.

God bless, and pray for quidance for me to be a good parent. I hate days like this. :(

Monday, November 07, 2005

My Dad

My dad is going under the knife in one hour and 15 minutes. He is getting a pacemaker put in. I am always leery about surgery, more so than other people I think. Everyone says its just routine now, and he only has to stay 24 hours. The only reason he has to stay that long is because he is on blood thinners and they are concerned about him bleeding. I hope he makes it through, and I hope it helps a lot with all of his health problems. He is tired of the fight, and he has fought. I have torn feelings. I hope and pray he makes it ok, but if he does, he is still going to have a fight on his hands. They found a bunch of nodes in his lungs, and they aren’t going to deal with that till this is “fixed.” I don’t want him to die, but I understand if he does. I’m glad we got things straightened out between us. My dad is still hard headed and stubborn, but we got past our problems with each other. It took an apology from him to clinch it for me. He was raised by an older father who didn’t know how to be a dad. He didn’t have a role model in that respect, so he did the best he could.

I called my brother yesterday to let him know about the surgery, and he is very bitter still. He feels like he and his family are picked on all the time. They aren’t picked on because they are never around. He blames dad, and dad blames them. My brother keeps talking about my niece’s heart is broke because they don’t love her. They love her a bunch, but when she is around she doesn’t talk, even when they try to engage her. She isn’t stuck up, she is basically quiet, and they don’t know how to relate to her. I, of course, blame my sister-in-law, as she started separating from the family as soon as they were married. “They” had their own family, things had changed, and they didn’t have time for us. That’s what she told me about a month after the wedding. Of course, her side of the family is so different and precious. My brother said he hated to lose me and my sister, but he had to get away from dad. Dad isn’t a bad person, he was just uneducated on the art of being a parent. He let my stepmother make too many of the decisions after my mom died, and that didn’t help any. He was in way over his head.

We have all went through our phase with dad, and not wanting to have anything to do with him. I think the only difference is, I wrote him a letter and let him know exactly how I felt. He thought I couldn’t raise a child on my own. I have since bought a house, work my ass off, and my son is now 9. I think I have done ok. My stepsister told me that he brags on me, and coming from him, that makes me feel great. He was my biggest doubter. I couldn’t have lived with myself if I would have given my son away, which is what he suggested. I had told him in the letter that I had mom long enough to know what a loving family was, and me and my son were going to be fine. I brought up a lot of issues, and how I thought he had handled them wrong. I actually got a handwritten letter from him apologizing for everything and how he didn’t know what to do. He told me how I was so strong and so much like my mother, and how much he loved her and missed her still. (that was 26 years after she had passed away.)

I am glad I did that. It got things put behind us, so we could move forward. When the property behind me went up for auction, I told them, and they now live next door. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even though their dog is spoiled more than we ever were, its nice to be able to walk over and see how they are doing. Please say a prayer, for God’s will to be done, and peace for my brother, his family, and my sister, no matter what happens.

God Bless.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I'm taking the plunge....

I went to Vitamin World last night. I think I could just about live on pills. I am weaning myself off of my hormone pills. I don't like taking them, even though I have never felt side effects. I am concerned about damage to my heart with all the trouble my dad has had, and my weight. I am taking something similar to ginkgo biloba now, called Neuro-PS. I am taking fish oil, and some joint stuff. (It was free with $30 worth of stuff) I am taking Black Cohosh and see if it helps with the menopause transition. I have heard good things about it, so I am hoping that is the route to go. Not having insurance for me really bites. I am still taking B-12, a mulitivitamin, lasix, and an aspirin (every other day on that) I think thats it. I think thats enough. Oh, I have some Billy Blanks exercise energy pills I got when I bought the DVD set off of a friend, so I took one of those this morning too. It must be working

So far, I have done a load of laundry, got dishes done, danced, Gazelled, had breakfast, and am getting ready to color my hair. I can do homework while I am waiting for it to take. I didn't have to go to class this morning, and almost have my homework done for tomorrow. We have a big test in my tough class Tuesday, so I know what I need to work on over the weekend. I also have to go through the schedule and see what I can dig up for next semester. It doesn't look very promising. I think I am going to have to go to campus all 5 days. :( I hate driving all that, and I am sure my car hates it too. The gas money will be good though. It sure won't buy me a better car, I don't think. ;)

Time to go.
God Bless. I need to go dance!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

He done me proud

My boy got first prize for his age group at the Halloween costume judging. He won $5. He was so proud. He really looked great. When I went to the school for the parade there I got a lot of compliments on his costume from other moms. Being an Elvis fan, I had wanted him to be that since he was born. I could never figure the hair thing out without gluing things to his head, but this year since I found the hair, it was great. He got into character too, and had a great time. He done his mama proud. Of course, I took the batteries out of the guitar before he went to school. LOL. He probably would have got expelled.

God Bless.