I have been fat my whole life, even as a 3 year old, as far back as I've been told. Actually, I found a letter my mom wrote my grandmother When I would have been 2 that said I tried eating the cake off of the birthday card she had sent me. Food and weight has always been an issue.
I am morbidly obese. I have been most of my life. I have tried everything to fix it, except surgery. I have fasted for 7 days at a time, I have done cleanses, keto, carnivore, tried to exercise my ass off, etc. and everything has failed.
I have lymphedema. I think I have lipolymphedema. I went to physical therapy for 3 weeks where they wrapped my legs. The first week I lost 10 lbs of fluid just in my legs. She said I also have it in my torso. That explains some of the extra weight, but not all. I normally eat between 800 and 1500 calories daily. I am sugar free. I am gluten free. (all except on RARE occasions)
I have prayed and prayed for this burden to be lifted. I just have to turn it over to God and leave it. I'm tired of being fat. I'm tired of people telling me I need to exercise more, eat less.
I lost 80 lbs when I first started keto, but then the weight loss stopped. So I went to carnivore. No change. I ended up gaining about 30 back. Very disheartening. I tried occasional cheat days to try to get out of the slump. No difference.
I asked my dr. if it could be hormonal. He said could be, but my numbers are good, so he sees no problem.
I have some mobility issues because of the fluid in my legs, and arthritis in my knees, but I try my best. I know people think I'm just lazy and sit around eating all the time. "They" probably think I lay around in bed all the time too. I sleep an average of 4 hours a night. Sometimes 3, sometimes 5. If I'm awake, I'm up. I don't laze around in bed.
Apparently, it's ok to pick on fat people and letting them know they are fat and they need to do something about it. That seems to be acceptable to some. Trust me, fat people know they are fat. I understand the fat positivity movement, but don't agree with all of it. I think we should be treated as well as any other "flaw." I'm tired of people pointing out things like "maybe park at the end of the parking lot so you can get more exercise" kind of thing. I don't ride around Walmart in a wheelchair cart. I don't stalk the parking lot or find a place close to the door (well, maybe if it's really cold or raining, but that's normal, right?)
I was talking to a friend of mine about me not sleeping. I told her its not doing my weight any good either. I'm sure my metabolism is down the tubes. She said "snacking too much when you aren't sleeping could be a problem." I don't snack. I told her I only eat twice a day. She was surprised. She's a daily snacker, but doesn't have a weight problem.
I just had to let off some steam. I'm tired. I'm going to let go and let God. Did he MAKE me this way? Any particular reason for this burden? IDK. I wish I could be in on the secret. I'll continue to pray about it, and do my best.
God bless. Throwing up a prayer for me wouldn't hurt either. Thanks.
