Today I hit a milestone, and I'm not happy with it. I turned the big 60. The last 23 years of my life I had a purpose. My purpose was to raise a human being to be a good human being, kind, caring, intelligent person. One who can think with their head and their heart, and act. Done.
He moved in with his girlfriend this past weekend. We've both been preparing for awhile. It was tear filled on both our parts. The thing that got me was I was on one side of the door looking through the glass and he was on the other and I was trying not to lose it before he left. He looked at me and said "I loved living with you." He had tears in his eyes, and I lost it. As I'm doing right now.
Now it's just me and the cat. I try not to contact him too much as it's been hard on me, but he can't get his adulting underway if mommy is being a helicopter mom. It's hard to let go of the little hand that found comfort in mine. And mine in his.
Someone said it's just empty nest syndrome, and I'm sure that's it. Lots of people that have empty next syndrome also have a partner to share it with. I have friends, but they have lives too. I just need to find my new purpose, and try to be the best person I can be. My son knows he always has a soft place to land, advice whether he wants it or not, and unconditional love that will live forever.
I may have to start journaling again. This is my soft place to land where I can be myself. A place I can come to cry and let out my frustrations. I haven't done that for a long time.
Life as it happens changes. And it changes us. For the better I hope. Time to move onward.
God Bless you.
