Looking on the bright side.....

Well, today was fun. lol

 Dear high school crush, 

I thought about you again today, and said a prayer for you. It's been many many years since we graduated, but I think about you often. Not like a stalker or anything, but I hope you have had a good life. I hope you were loved the way I wanted to love you. I hope you had someone to cook your favorite meals, meeting you at the door with gladness that you were home after a day at work. I hope you had someone who got you your favorite gifts for birthdays, Christmas, and just becauses. 

I think my crush started in Jr. High. I remember sending you a card and signing it anonymously. I heard some of your friends at school asking if any of them sent it. I scurried away because my face was turning red. 

A few months ago I told one of my friends about my crush. Of course she had to do some digging, she was friends with some of your friends, so she sent me your address, phone number, and let me know you had been married for a short time, but not for a long long time. 

She asked me why I didn't contact you, or let you know when we were in school about the crush I had on you. I did that for your sake. I was the fat ugly poor girl. If your friends found out I had a crush on you, I was afraid they would tease you like they did me. I just loved you from afar. I was doing it for you. 

I saw you in Walmart once. You were at the end of an aisle I turned down. As soon as I saw you my heart jumped in my throat and I turned around and left the aisle. I didn't know that was possible after so many years. 

I pray for you often, that you are having a good life. I'm hoping if I ever see you in public again that I will have the courage to speak and act like a normal person, not the schoolgirl crush person. 

Are you the same quiet, shy gentle giant you were in school? You may not have been overly tall, but you were in my heart. 

I pray you have a good rest of your life. If we perchance to meet, I'll try to act like a grownup and not a cow-eyed love struck girl. Or maybe I will. I just wanted someone to know that you have always been cared about. Even if it was by an ugly fat poor girl. I'm comfortable with who I am now, except for the fat part. My heart has always had room for you. I hope you can feel that from here. 

God bless