Mother's day has had quite a turnaround for me. It used to be all I could think about was my dead mother and my dead daughter, and how I wondered if God had forgotten me. I was 10 when I lost my mother, 25 when I lost my daughter, and 37 when I had my son. Thats a lot of years inbetween. I would stay hidden in my house, not go to church or anything because I was so jealous of the women who had relationships with their mothers/children. I felt alone, which I feel alot, because I feel like I have always marched to the beat of a different drummer. Never really fitting in anywhere. Does everyone feel like this? I don't mean just "unique, or special". I feel odd. Not normal. I find things funny that others don't. Of course, I like geek humor, and a lot of the people I hang with don't get it. I like to listen to classical music, and a friend called one night while I had it on and she called it "funeral music." Come on people, get some culture! Open up your horizons. There are other things out there!!!!!!!! When my dad found out I like herbal tea and classical music he asked me "where did you get THAT from??? Surely not while living under my roof." I decided not to break it to him that I tried mayonaisse instead of miracle whip and I prefer it. I also make brewed tea instead of instant. I will let him think I am that little girl that he raised to be more like him. It makes him happy that way. He doesn't know any better. He only has an 8th grade education, but has done ok for himself. I love him dearly, even though we have had our moments. If I would have listened to him, I would still be bitter on mothers day, and not have the great son that I have now.
B'f took G shopping last night while I got Grandma's gift. They said they were just going to look at toys, cos G was a butthead all day yesterday, and I really needed the quiet time. (in a crowded walmart, with tons of people buying last minute gifts) Ahhhhhhh, peace and quiet at last. I cruised through the garden center looking to see if it would look good in her yard, or better in mine. LOL. I just got her something, and not me. I done good.
I was supposed to find them in toys, but they weren't there, so I made the traditional potty stop, and caught them going around the corner with a DVD in their hands. They didn't see me, so I let them go. I walked leisurely through the store, went to grocery, then figured they would be back at toys by now. Wrong. I walked all the way back, then toward the front again, and they were coming back in. I asked G where they were, and he said "AT THE CAR" (snicker snicker). He took off to toys, and b'f said he would get him while I checked out. G came out, but no b'f. I asked if he saw him or escaped again. He got the glimmer in his eye, and said, "I know where he is, and if you try to go after him I am going to stop you." I thought instead of putting my son through that, I would just be patient. He probably would have rather me put up a fight. LOL . It was nice. When we got to the car he wouldn't even let me put my stuff in the trunk. AHA! LOL. Those 2 are like the 3 stooges. Whispering, smiling, loud whispering. It was so cool to listen to them. I had to wait till this morning. Usually G sleeps till 10 on Sundays, but this morning he was up at 7:12. I had just gotten back to sleep and he jumps up, says he will be right back, and comes in bringing the most beautiful gift bag I have ever seen. It had lilacs on it, with a real lavender ribbon for the handles. They got me 2 DVD's, "Garfield, The Movie", and "Ron White, They Call me Tater Salad" Oh well. Its the thought that counts, and I oohed and ahhed like a good mom should. We saw Garfield at the theater, and it was ok, but I wasn't going to spend more money on it. The Ron White one I would have been happy to just rent, but they were both so proud. I messaged b'f today and thanked him profusely. He got me a gift card too, so I can get what I want. Wooooooooohooooooooo. Now I have gift cards totaling $20. I can shop like crazy. They are both so sweet. I thought G was going to bust before I got them opened. We sat down and watched Garfield. I love the kid so much my heart is just going to burst one of these days. He loves his mommy, and thats more than alright with me.
Time for bed. I have a final in hardware tomorrow. (part 1) Say a prayer for me, please.
God bless, and God bless mommy wannabees, and children who miss their mommys, no matter how old they are.