Tuesday, March 29, 2005


I took the plunge and signed up for a tutor. I start tomorrow for Computer Logic. Sue goes to him, and told me before how he never helps her, just the skinny girl thats in her class that goes the same time she does. She said he fawns all over her and pretty much does her homework for her. When I told her I was going, and we had the same tutor, she said he is really nice and she hopes he can help. LOL. He won't help her because she's fat, but I am fatter than her. I think its attitude, probably. She is all doom and despair all the time. She always looks for trouble. We got a letter about signing up for summer classes and making an appt to come into the unemployment office. She im'd me to ask what would happen if they don't offer any of the classes she needs for her degree. (insert loud sigh here) She asked me what I would do if a instructor dropped me from a class, and she thinks she is very fortunate for not having been dropped since they can do it for any reason at any time. I told her the only time I have ever heard of anyone getting dropped is when they didn't show up for long periods of time. Other than that, it is up to them to drop the class. Thats all I am familliar with anyway. Geeesh. The only exercise she gets is jumping to conclusions. I think she thinks too hard on all the lousy possibilities that she can't hardly keep it together. If I say one negative thing, she is all "oh, cheer up, it will be ok. We ought to be thankful we have this opportunity!" GAG! She can be as negative as she wants, but doesn't take it well from anyone else. Personally, I get tired of listening to her whine. I have asked her before if she wanted a little cheese with that, and she laughed.

I try to contain all my negativity here. In my blog. Where I don't have to see anyone that reads it. I can be catty, bitchy, attempt humor, sit here naked if I want. LOL (well, I don't do the naked thing anymore, gets too depressing) Then when I talk to b'f, and he gets negative, it really sets my teeth on edge. I don't want false perkiness, but I get tired of it. We were chatting about Terri Schiavo last night. I think its a horrible way to go, and don't know of a solution, but I don't think starving someone is it. He turns it into a giant political thing, and all I can do is sit here and type "I reckon" every once in awhile. The whole situation makes me so terribly sad. I had to stop going to message boards that have threads about it, because it gets me too upset. Having lost people that I have loved, I can imagine how the parents feel. I know when I lost my daughter, it would have been easier to have cut my heart out with a knife, but being of the religious persuasion that I am, it wasn't an option. When I found my ex b'f and my "best friend" together, and moved out that night, I never got to see the kids except to say goodbye, I wanted to die. I prayed for it. I talked to my pastor about it, and he said apparently that God wasn't done with me. I still miss them, and that was 10 years ago. He is married for the 2nd time since we broke up, so this is his 3rd marriage. Just like my ex husband. Do very many men get married 3 times? My other ex b'f that I loved dearly, Jerry, was also married 3 times that I know of. My current b'f has been married twice, but wants to go for 3, but I am not up to it. I feel like a wolf, I guess I mate for life. Well, thats not true. I have loved a few, but not the type that would make good husband material. When they say you can't change someone, they mean it.

Time to go. Might as well work on some more school stuff. I got today's done already! Woooooooo hoooooooooooo! God Bless, and tell your loved ones how you feel. Pray for Terri's family.

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