Saturday, July 30, 2005

I'm falling apart

First, my modem fried in my reasonably new computer. It's still under warranty, and after satisfying Dell by running a bunch of tests, they are replacing the modem. I don't know how long it will take to get here, but I have heard they have very fast service. The techs on email are very polite, broken english types. It saddens me to lose jobs like this to another country as well, and I have to admit makes me worry even more about the future. I thought my job would last as long as factories were in production, since we made parts for industrial plants, but never dreamed my job would be shipped out of the country. I felt secure and stable, and I don't know if I will ever feel that way again.

Most of my good links are on MY computer, as I am now on my sons till the new modem arrives. Since we aren't networked (yet) I will get by with what I have.

I have severe swelling in my legs. I have had that for about 5 years now I imagine. I had all kinds of tests ran for 3 years in a row and finally quit. They never found anything, and just prescribed lasix. It doesn't seem to be very effective like it used to be, but is better than nothing. My knee is still killing me after the museum trip 2 weeks ago so I called the dr. to make an appointment. (for the knee and to see about lasix alternatives) I can't get in till the 11th. I forgot about school physical time. Thats what I get for waiting.

After making the appt., I went out and cleaned a few things out of the garage. (actually, I was just looking for something,lol, and decided to pitch some stuff while I looked.) I cut my leg or something, because when I came in I noticed blood running down from a line about midcalf. I take an aspirin every day (which I am going to take a break from!) and it took a long time for the bleeding to stop. I put bandaids on it, (2, as it was about a 4 inch scratch) and for some reason they fell off. It was a little warm out so I wasn't surprised when vacumming and stuff that my leg was sweating. Then I noticed "water" droplets forming on the cut, and running down my leg. It's a clear liquid, (a tinge of blood from time to time) It happened over 20 hours ago and is still seeping fluid. It seems to be slowing down some finally. I slept with a towel wrapped around my leg, which is slightly damp. I have never seen anything like this before. I will call the dr. office when they get in this morning and see what they think I should do. I might get in today instead of waiting till the 11th. I am not in panic mode, but b'f sure is. I just wondered if I didn't cut it, and it just popped open since it was swollen so bad. Its my left leg, and its always swollen a lot more than my other one, and its also the one with the bad knee. The more fluid it retains, the more the knee hurts, to the point of hardly being able to get around. It's hell to be fat and getting older.

I gave my speech Thursday, on the health benefits of laughter. It went really well I think. I gestured, I made the class laugh, and I even showed the caricature I had done last Spring. I wore my "I beat anorexia" t shirt for the occasion and even got positive feedback on that. 2 days of classes, and 2 days of finals and a 2 week break. I am ready for it. Fall is going to be really tough I think. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

I am going to try to go back to bed. God bless.

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