Thursday, November 18, 2004

My 4th Post...

Well, I can't call it day 4 because I missed yesterday. I am taking sinus pills and I found some amoxicillan so I am taking that too. I have the vaporizer and humidifier going where I sleep, so I slept for a change. I was shocked when the alarm went off this morning cos I missed my 1 am wakeup. It felt nice for a change.
I didn't make it to the funeral yesterday. My head would have exploded I think. I am exhausted mentally and emotionally and psychologically. Aren't those all the same thing? Sort of? I told you my head was going to explode. The sinuses are doing better today at least. Finally. I'm still getting blood out of my nose though, but at least SOMETHING is coming out of there now.
Today I go to the dr. and see about getting the stitches out of my hand. Its been 8 days since the carpal tunnel surgery. I was not supposed to use it at all, but that is not my style. I was very careful, so I hope its still ok. Its itching some, so I think that means its healing. They told me to leave it wrapped up so I only unwrapped it a few times to let it breathe better. It looked pretty good. We will probably schedule the next one when I go in today. I want them done, but I want to get this one a little stronger before I get down with the other one. The one I have gotten done now is going to be strange when I get it back full. I am so used to not using it even though its my dominant hand. I mean, I use it, but haven't had full use of it in quite awhile. At least it hasn't been waking me up. There are other reasons for that, and I'm not sure what they all are. Thats a lie. I know.
The stress of being unemployed and the agony of wondering if I am doing the right thing is what wakes me up. I had the same job for 14 years, and I miss it. I will have to prove myself all over again. They knew what I was capable of. I am too fat, way too fat. Sometimes I can be a real smart ass too. I bet I have been hiding that well. :) This all leads to the uncertainty of my life, and I don't like it.
My classes are going well. I am getting good grades I guess, but I work hard for them. My friend that just lost her daughter went to school for a long time, and she had just told me a few weeks ago that the saying goes "C's get degrees!" When I got a C+ on an essay. (The plus is very important to me, cos that means above average C. I hate being average anything.)
Have an awesome day, and remember to kiss the family and loved ones before they start their day. It may be the last time you see them. Keep that in mind.

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