My friend Molly has a bad depression problem. She worries constantly, and if she can’t find something specific to worry about, she makes up stuff. No kidding. She has perfected worrying as a new art form. I don’t know what I can do to help her, but she seems to be addicted to it.
We found out we were getting laid off a year before it happened. They kept having meetings with all the “associates” to let us know what was going on, what options we had, etc. I started taking night classes to get myself prepared. (usually prepared is not how I see myself, but if I am forced into something, I can usually deal with it)
I don’t think I am a strong person. I have found if you bend in circumstances, that you won’t break, so I try to be flexible. Not so for my friend. She worried the whole time about what she was going to do, but that was all she did. Worry. She kept saying “what if…. What if….. what if……” She is going to what if… herself to death I am afraid. She made no plans, started school a semester behind when she should have, and now won’t have the funding to finish out her degree.
I have tried to help her relax, talking to her about calming down. I have tried to talk to her about talking to a counselor. She cries a lot. She doesn’t think anyone knows. She has such a stigma about counselors that she is afraid people will think she is crazy if she goes to one. Personally, I think she is crazy for NOT going. I need to go to counseling too, and I talked to her about it, in my case. She said “I don’t think anyone will think you are a bad person for going to counseling” with “that” tone, meaning, “People are going to think you are nuts if they find out you are going.” You know what, I told her I don’t CARE what people think, as long as it helps. She is of the old school on that.
She failed a test miserably. It brought her average for the class from an A to a D. One test. I thought she had made a mistake on figuring it out, till she told me she got a 32 on the test. She said she just froze and couldn’t do it. I told her she worries too much about it, and that causes her to freeze. I can’t talk to her like I want to, because she gets her feelings hurt so easily. She said I really hurt her feelings when I tell her she worries too much, and that makes her even more depressed. I told her worrying and depression go hand in hand a lot of times. She said she doesn’t have a problem with worrying, so how can I help her if she doesn’t even know she has a problem?
She used to be such a fun person, but she has no joy. No glimmer in the eye like she used to, and I miss that. I know life is hard, and times are tough right now. The future is uncertain, but we just keep going. That’s all we can do. I wish I had the answers…..