Tuesday, February 14, 2006

And it is done....

I am currently b'f less. I feel good about it. Its not official, but since we aren't speaking to each other, it may stay that way. I am relieved. I haven't told my boychild yet, and that concerns me the most. He really loved him a lot, but I couldn't do it any longer. We got into a major disagreement, but instead of discussing it, he made a jackass decision, so it made it a lot easier for me to be done with it. Here is how it played out....

I am chatting with him on Thursday evening, trying to do homework. He said he kept Tuesday open. I asked "what for?" He said to spend Valentines with me. ???? I am bogged down with so much homework its almost to the point of forgetting what day of the week it is, much less taking an evening off. I set aside every Saturday for him. I don't pick up a book that day, so I can be sociable. He gets an attitude, and I know he is angry. He always cares about holidays a lot more than I do. For me, showing you care every day is better than going overboard one day a year. I don't need candy, stuffed animals, etc, to know a person cares. It must have been important to his ex, cos its real important for him. Anyway, I told him I couldn't. Too much work to do. He thinks since I go to a Jr. College that its easy stuff. WRONG. The main instructor I have is a demon when it comes to teaching us. Every semester he pushes me way over whatever I thought was possible. B'f is mad. He says "I will let you get to your homework then." I say thanks, and turn the messenger off. My son had a game Friday night, so we didn't get a chance to chat. I think he made sure the only time he messaged me was during the middle of game time. (they only play for an hour, he is usually one for at least 2 hours.) Anyway, Saturday I go through the normal routine, clean house, plan and make a dinner for him, thinking we could do Valentines on Saturday. He works every other Saturday, so he usually gets here around 5. About 4:30 he messaged me. He had went home after work. No big deal, if he would have mentioned it to me. He has been coming over here every Saturday except a handful for the past 3 years. He said he thought it would give me plenty of time to study so we could do valentines on Tuesday. He doesn't grasp my schedule at all, and I always get a new batch of homework every Tuesday thats due on Thursday, and I have another class on Wednesday so the turnaround time has to be quick. I was pissed. I told him that would have been great if he WOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE I TOOK THE WHOLE MORNING CLEANING AND COOKING AND PLANNING A NICE EVENING FOR US. He said "sorry." I knew he was feeling pretty smug. That made me even more pissed. I told him I was off to study, since I had blown the morning away. I shut messenger off, and started on the homework.
He messaged me the next day, but I didn't respond till evening. He said he knew he had screwed up. I said "yep." He asked how homework was coming along, and I told him I had a test to study for. Bye. Last night he messaged me, and asked if today was out of the question, and I said "yep". He said "Bye." I think he meant it. No messages from him today. I imagine he thinks he is making me hurt. I am instead relieved.
After 3 years he still didn't trust me. I didn't love him like I should, but I was always faithful. I wouldn't have went out on him. That was the first thing he always thought of when I needed some time to myself. As soon as I told him I couldn't do valentines because of homework, he said, "o, you have a better offer." Cripes.

I hope the rest of his life goes well. He has a chance now to find the person that he really needs in it, cos it wasn't me.

God Bless, and Happy Valentines day.

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