Monday, April 03, 2006

More self analysis

I am not doing homework. I have a pretty big assignment due tomorrow. I have been playing pogo, spending time with the kid, cleaning house, cooking, and doing anything else I can do to avoid the homework. I don't know what I am doing on it, and I guess in my way of thinking I would rather be able to tell the instructor that its done so poorly because I ran out of time instead of the "I don't know what the *^%^ I am doing." I do that often subconsciously I think.

I went to see my counselor Friday. Since she is an intern she only has about 4 weeks left till she graduates. She said I never give myself enough credit. When enough people treat you like you don't matter, why should I give myself any credit? They must know, right? I think part of the problem is that I put on such a good front of taking care of myself and everything that pertains to, that no one thinks I need them, or anything else. I am tired of needing someone and no one being there.

We have spring break next week, and I am sooooo glad. They are going to pile on the homework, but at least I won't be logging as many miles. The kid gets out for part of my break, so thats extra good. I hope the carpenter won't be coming so I can sleep in. I have to get the lumber for the trim and get that polyurethaned before he can put it in. I may pick it up Wednesday, it depends on what the day brings.

I better hit the books and try to figure out what I am doing.

God Bless

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