Success and failure would seem to most to be the opposite end of the spectrum. Right now they seem so close to me that I can't tell the difference. I read an article this morning asking the question if you are sabotaging your success. Ummmmmmmm, yeah. I find myself doing this. I know I have been afraid to lose weight and get in better shape for a long time. If I do, I might attract men again, and this leads to putting myself out there and possibly getting hurt again. Thats a no brainer. I am still working on the losing weight though. I am going to be job hunting soon and need to look and feel better.
I am doing poorly in school this semester. I am doing more playing games online than I am homework. I know I am sabotaging my classes. I am afraid. What if I am not good at my chosen profession? I find it confusing. Its not like I thought it would be. I knew it would be hard, and I have to get out of my comfort zone, but did I take on too much? Maybe I would have been better off sitting on my ass all day, doing telemarketing or something. Nope. I wasn't good at that either. I couldn't sell magazines to old ladies on a fixed income.
I am supposed to be doing my math now. I have class in a few hours, and it takes me 45 minutes to get there. I have been playing solitare. Then I read the article. I have to change things. I need to work harder and smarter and concentrate on my goals. All of them. I need to be doing that instead of sitting here in the middle of the morning in my nightgown eating mac and cheese when I should be showered, math done, reading on the chapter for tomorrow. I gotta go.
God Bless, and pray for all the underconfident people you know. It could be me.
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