Sunday, March 26, 2006

I'm caught up!

I got the homework done, and all turned in. My online classwork is due at 11:59 pm on Sunday night. I have 3 activities, a message board to post on, and a quiz to take. Last week, I turned in two activities, took the quiz, was relieved that I got a good grade on it, and went in to finish watching a movie with the kid. At 12:01 (no joke) I was laying there feeling like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me. I didn't turn in the last activity. That was 25 points I blew. I ran in here, booted up, got online, got to the site, and it wouldn't let me post. The system had already shutdown for the dump. Crap. I composed an email to the instructor, told her I realized it was late and woudn't be counted, but if she could still grade it so I knew how I did I would appreciate it. I explained how it was my fault, and I was just so happy to get a decent grade on the quiz that I forgot. She didn't mention it when she graded it, and then I saw that she had posted the grade, so that meant that she counted it. HURRAY! She knows I am honest I think, from a question I posed to her earlier asking about a website she wanted us to use. She said I was the only one concerned about copying from the site and by my asking it showed her my honesty. Also, since it was a Word document, I imagine she checked the revision date and time to see when it was completed. Whew. I am glad I didn't feel the need to make any changes before I finally submitted it. So far I am getting a B out of that class.
No homework for math, so I don't have anything due till Tuesday. I am going to work on that tomorrow so maybe I won't be finishing it up just before class. I hate when that happens.
I had my 2nd session with the intern Friday. We still aren't even done with the paperwork, but she said next week it should be done. She asked more questions, and I gave her honest answers. She asked about sexual abuse when I was younger. I told her I didn't think it was abuse, just exploration among children, only I was the only one that didn't know it was wrong. My parents were the kind who thought if we didn't know anything about it, that it couldn't affect us. If I would have had a clue it was wrong, it wouldn't have happened at all. I was the youngest in the bunch, and when there are 3 people acting like it was nothing unusual, except you weren't allowed to tell anybody, it took a while for me to realize. When I questioned it, it stopped. Except for that once, but that got stopped before it started. Long story, maybe for another time. Maybe not.
I told her about my friend who had been sexually abused when she was younger. She turned out quite different than I did. She blamed herself. Hers was an adult that abused her, and in my way of thinking, adults know whats right or wrong, and they should have more control. I still can't understand why she would blame herself. She didn't come onto him. I hear that about abuse victims blaming themselves all the time, and I don't get it. The intern said that I had even made the statement that my parents wouldn't have believed me if I told them. I agreed, but said too that it never happened again. I put a stop to it. Then she goes into how I am a strong person, and not everybody is. I told her I sure don't feel like a strong person. I guess I am. I see women who couldn't find their way out of a paperbag with a map, and it amazes me that they can function in daily life. I think some men like that because they feel that they are needed. I need someone too, but someone stronger than me. I can't feel safe with someone if I have to do all the thinking and the saving. I can't act like the helpless female, it gets boring. Besides, what if no one wants to help me? Hmmmmmmm, that is probably the real problem. I am strong because I have had to be, not because I want to. I am afraid to depend on anyone too much because there is a good chance they won't be there.

On a happier note, (time to switch gears here) I am officially old. That doesn't sound happier, but on this occasion, I will admit it. I have been listening to Uncle Kracker, whom I adore, and then we were listening to our movie soundtracks. (Scooby Doo, Robots, Shrek, Shark Tale, etc.) These are the only "newer" songs I can really get into. Today while I was working on homework, I decided no dancing music, time to sit on the bottom and get the work done. I started playing my "oldies" playlist and got into Mama's and Papa's greatest hits. I know all the words, and was having a great time. That is music. It brings back memories. I was barely in high school when I had a big giant crush on this kid who sat next to me in sociology class. I never paid attention in class, but doodled a lot. I remember writing California Dreamin with assorted hearts, doodles, etc over and over again. That night they played it on the local radio station and I just knew he had called it in for me. Well, maybe not, but I couldn't believe it was just a coincidence. I wonder if he is single? He lives less than 15 miles from me. (wink wink)

I finished reading the whole journal to date of the fat man walking website. He has sure came a long way. I was sorry to read about his marriage ending though. I hate that two people can't work out their differences when there are kids involved. It sounds like its amicable though, so thats better than not. I wish him well on the rest of his journey.

I had better get to bed. Things to do, places to go, people to see.

God Bless.

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