Sunday, September 30, 2007

Realizations

I have had an epiphany.

I have been a spectator in my life, and not an active participant. I only do things when forced to. That's not a good thing, most of the time. I waited to buy a home when I got pregnant, thinking before that my knight in shining armor would ride up and take me away. (sorta. LOL) I just thought since I assumed I would get in a relationship, it would be easier if there was only one actual mortgage to deal with, presumably his. Yeah well, man plans, God laughs. Anyway, I am now the proud owner of a home, so I am happy that I was forced into that.

I started on this diet and exercise plan, because I need to find a job, and was afraid no one would hire me. Well, I now have the wind in my sails, and am going great guns on the diet again. I never stopped the diet, I just stopped losing. I have been stalled for a long time now. I have decided I am going to lose at least 8 lbs by Halloween, and another 24 by Christmas. It will happen. I am so excited to be that weight by Christmas. :)

Why the change, you ask? (I heard you. It's not just the voices in my head. LOL) Anyway, I heard about a DVD I wanted to see, so I rented it. It's called The Secret. I know, I KNOW. Most of it is crap. But what got me to thinking, was if you replace the "I have the power", "I form my own destiny" crap with "God has the power", "God forms my destiny" it makes so much sense. All this time I believed it, but I haven't LIVED it. If I trust God, then why do I let things get me down like they do? I end up having a pity party for myself, which accomplishes NOTHING. If I truly had faith, it would show. I plan on it showing from here on out.

After I had this epiphany, I said one of my down-on-my-knees prayers. I find myself doing that a lot more frequently lately. I prayed about the change in attitude, the job, etc. Within 24 hours I got a call for a job interview. God is working already, and I trust the outcome. I am so excited about this interview.

Today I worked on my "Couch to 5 K" program I tried to start a few weeks ago, and did a lot better than last time. (Google it, thats how I found it) I will just do it till I improve enough to go to the next step. Being as heavy as I am, I can't complete the first week yet. You have to walk briskly for 5 minutes, then a slow run for 60 seconds, then walk for 90 seconds, then run/walk/run/walk for about 8 times total. The last part is a 5 minute cool down walk. The first time, I did the 5 minutes, jog for about 30 seconds, then walked back to the car. LOL. Today I walked, jogged for about 45 seconds, walked till it got to the 3rd set of jogging, (I walked through the 2nd one) and then jogged the 5th one. Although I never did a full minute at a time jogging, I am doing better. The whole thing should only take 20 -30 minutes if done properly. I will do it one of these days. It said to do that 3 times a week, but not in a row. I am planning on doing it again on Tuesday. We go to the local state park, but I am always looking around to make sure no one is around when I run. I don't mind powerwalking with people around, but the pitiful attempt I make at jogging, well, that's another story. LOL

I fixed my hair today, to see what I am going to do with it tomorrow. I also used a depilatory on my upper lip, and I burned it. LOL Now it looks like I have chapped lips. Geesh. I hope it fades out by tomorrow. I tried on my clothes for my interview, and my son would have wolf whistled if he could have. :) I feel like I have awoken. I am primed and ready to go.

:) Keep me and my interview in your prayers please. God bless!

1 comment:

robinrobin4 said...

I envy you for the strenght you posess.
I wish the best for all you want to accomplish and hope your goals are reached soon.
Hang in there...your needs will be met.

HUGs