Sunday, December 17, 2006

The next chapter...

Well, I am a college graduate. No pomp and circumstance, but I had a hard time leaving campus Friday. I was planning on working a couple of hours my last day but got invited to a free breakfast, so I went there instead. I went in to get my "stuff" and say bye, but only 3 people were in the office. I really enjoyed working with them, but I didn't feel like me and my boss "jived." I heard he is a hard person to get to know, but it just didn't feel right. Anyway, now I have to find a REAL job.

I always hate finding a new job. All the insecurities come up to the surface. Why would they want to hire me? Would I want to hire me? I think I have an excellent work ethic, which amazes me when I don't see it in others. When I grew up, everyone worked hard. Now I don't see that so much. I know when I started working in the factory (that ended up going to Mexico) you worked hard, and weren't allowed to talk unless you could keep working. It got more lax, and more lax, and before long you had people who didn't really seem to do much of anything except talk. I try to give an honest days work for an honest days pay. One problem I had in the office I was working in was that they had a hard time keeping me busy. I was getting paid to do a job, but didn't really have much of a job to do. I answered phones for help desk, and did a few other things as they came in. I was trying to teach myself some of the software I got to use so I would be more useful, but felt guilty for opening the book. I think I was the only one that bothered, but its the kind of stuff I do at home, the self-teaching stuff. So, I would hire me because I am a good, dedicated worker. I don't like to get into office politics. I would hire me for help desk. I would hire me for factory work. I wouldn't hire me as a net admin, which is what my degree is in. I hated it. I got locked into it, but don't like it at all.

I am hoping and praying I find the perfect fit. I am scared to death. I am going to take a little break before I start hitting the pavement looking for a job though. My son has 2 days left of school and then they are on Christmas break. I really can't afford to take a break, but the last few days have been great not having homework. I had over 200 emails in my inbox yesterday morning that I just didn't have time to deal with before. I have it down to 89 now. The house is slowly but surely getting cleaner. It looks better, smells better, and I feel better about it in general. It's weird putting up all of my school stuff. I plan on taking classes on down the road, but feel like I need to get the job thing lined up first. I am going to have to pay for classes now, and I sure don't want to have to drop a class when I get a job. I am hoping I can find something that works with my sons schedule well. I know I will have to get a sitter for days he doesn't have school, and summer. He isn't looking forward to that. I need to find something full time. I am scared.

God bless, and keep me in your prayers.

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