Fat and Sleep

 Wherefore art thou sleep? Yeah, ok. I won't be poetic, but I have an honest question.

Am I fat because I'm a lousy sleeper, or am I a lousy sleeper because I'm fat? That is my question of the day. 

I have never been a good sleeper. Not since my thoughts were awakened to the fact when it was naptime, I couldn't nap. Also, when it was bedtime I would lie there for hours waiting till I would sleep. As a grade schooler I started roaming around my bedroom till midnight or after till I could go to sleep. I think that may be what gave me my love of reading. I could do it for hours with no interruption. 

Even now, I usually can't fall asleep till midnight or after, but wake up between 3 and 5 am. No matter what time I go to sleep, I get up around 4 or so. Lately its been 3 am. 

I have also always been overweight. Not just a little, but a LOT. I have tried to diet, sometimes successfully for a bit, and sometimes failing. I have lost up to 80 lbs, and have gone back up 30. It seems no matter what I have tried the last year, it just steadily goes back up. Something needs to give.

My fitbit says I'm a lousy sleeper. My oxygen levels are sporadic at night, peaking into the orange zone at least 4 times a night. I have also been told I'm an extremely loud snorer. I can attest to that, since I have woken myself up more than once wondering what the horrendous noise was. 

I had to change physicians due to job change (It's official, I'm retired) and I had to set a primary care. I have never been to him, and don't even know if he is accepting new patients. I tell myself late every Friday that Monday morning my goal is to call and see if I can get in. I want to get my hormone levels checked (due to the not losing weight thing, but losing hair thing) and see if maybe I could get a sleep study done. Then every Monday I think I'll do it later. Then on Friday it starts all over again. 

I really don't like drs. I get tired of being told I'm fat. I have letters my mom wrote that my grandma saved when we moved out of state when I was 2. She was telling my grandma how I want to eat all the time, and tried to eat the cake off the front of my birthday card. I remember the dr. telling my mom I was just lazy. It's always been an issue. 

I don't overeat now. I haven't for a long time. I follow a more ketovore lifestyle. Usually more carnivore than keto. I did BBB & E for 7 weeks and didn't lose anything.  That's not right. 

I'm trying to talk myself into calling the dr. Today. I've got 2 hours before they close. Today. 

I just started listening to a book called "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker. It's been enlightening so far. I think I'm going to give up coffee and all caffeine for awhile. I drink 1 pot of caffeinated in the morning, and drink decaf the rest of the day. He said there is still 15 to 30% caffeine in the decaf that there is in regular. I drink about 3 pots of decaf a day. If I quit that, I may end up in a coma. I won't know till I try. I've not always been a coffee or caffeine addict. I am now though. 

Wish me luck, and God Bless.