I was thinking a lot about my school past these last few weeks. We have lost two classmates in the last two weeks due to massive coronaries (as far as we know at this point) We are in our mid 50's, and I know with me, it seems way to early for us to be dropping like flies. Both were women, and both were fun and fun loving people. One had rheumatoid arthritis, which I don't know if that has anything to do with it, and the other was a shock to her family, so it must have been undetected.
I was thinking about the others we have lost in our class. One of the guys committed suicide a couple of years ago. He had injured his back at work and was in severe pain to where he didn't want to live anymore. Very sad. He was a great guy, and a lot of people loved him.
One of the first classmates we lost, was when we were in the 5th grade. He was the guy I was supposed to marry. I knew that really early on. He was killed in a car accident with all of his brothers on a fishing trip. I was thinking today what my life may have been if he hadn't went fishing. Would we have gotten married? We could have been grandparents by now. I could have the family and white picket fence I always thought I would have. All I ever really wanted was a family to love and care for.
It's just me and the kid. He's graduating high school this year. Then what? He will still live here for awhile. I want him to get some money in the bank before he tries to make it on his own. It was an opportunity I didn't have. Homelife was hell, and I couldn't wait to get out.
I say it was hell, but it could have been worse. I wasn't physically beaten, but was mentally and emotionally abused. I had to leave while I still thought I was worth at least something.
I can't help but wonder how things could have been different. I really thought he and I would be great partners and parents together. I still miss him. A sad thing was, he never even knew.
God bless, and let everyone you love know how you feel about them, before it's too late.