I know part of it is the overwhelming homework, the worry about a job, money, just the normal daily stuff. School started this week, and the first day I had over 60 pages to read for the next day.
My son has seemed especially trying today. Its been one of his "talking marathon" days, which sometimes just put my teeth on edge. He will ask me the same question 5 times a day, and I will give him the same answer every time. He doesn't listen long enough to hear the answer. If I ask if he heard me, he yells "YES, I HEARD YOU!" Then 10 minutes later he will claim I never answered him. I know part of that has to do with his ADHD, but it drives me batshit.
I am a network administration major. I put a NIC in my sons' computer the other day, and got the router out today to finally get them connected. Well, I can't get it to work. Yep, I am college educated in the art of networking, and can't even network my own damn computers. Note all the cussing? I am a tiny bit irritable today.
I got out one of my old cd's to dance a bit and get some exercise in this sorry body of mine. The music was one that I used to party too. (Georgia Satelites) We used to play it during the beer drinking games, (which was the only way I could drink beer. YUCK!) Anyway, I danced to a few of the songs. It felt good. I danced with wild abandon while my son laughed at me. I didn't care. After I got pooped out, I got one of my notorious wine coolers I bought over a year ago. It tastes so lovely I may have to have another. (I still have two left.) Sometimes I miss the partying a little bit. I just wish I had someone to share my life with sometimes. Not only for me, but he could take G out fishing or something for awhile and give me break. I love my son, don't get me wrong, but there are some days where he never stops, and I have so much stress on me besides him, it gets tough for me to handle. The job thing is really stressing me out. I got my internet bill today, (which I pay every 6 months cos its cheaper that way.) and I had to pay my charge card bill. Its a disaster. A few more months and I will have my house paid off, but then the unemployment stops, so at least I will have a roof over our head, just maybe no lights or heat. Its a scary thought.
I had better close. I am tired of bitching and tired of thinking about it.
God bless, and count your blessings. I need to focus on that for awhile.