Patriotism?

I can’t explain it. I have no idea why, but I get highly emotional about patriotic stuff. I was at a concert and they started playing a patriotic song. They asked that anyone who was in the military stand up when their branch was mentioned. I saw people, young and old, standing up as each branch was brought up in song. There were people standing scattered throughout the audience. With each person standing, the tears started falling down my face faster and faster. I was a mess by the time it was over. 

I don’t know when I started having this type of reaction. I was too young when my uncles were in the military to understand. One of them was out of the army before I was born. He has a purple heart and a few less fingers than he did when he went in. I can vaguely remember my other uncle being gone for a very long time, but it was during peace time and he saw no conflicts. 

Today I was driving through town, and there was “The Wall” set up at the fairgrounds. I was just driving by the fairgrounds and then I saw it from the road. Immediately tears started flowing. Even from that distance there were so many names, columns and columns. I think about the last things they felt, the last things they saw. My heart breaks for all the mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, wives, and kids that were impacted by the loss of each human being. They were so much more than a name on a monument. 

Maybe that is why I get the reaction. So much loss. I have suffered a lot of loss in my life. Not as much as some, but I don’t deal well with loss. When I was a kid and my dog got ran over, she was buried in the ditch. I used to go out there and cry by the side of the road. 

I miss my mom. She passed when I was 10. I miss my baby girl that I never got to hear cry. I miss my dad. I guess with each person’s name on that wall, I take on the pain of the people they left behind.  

That doesn’t explain why I still cry when I see military people who have made it home and lived their life with their families, so I guess I don’t really know why. I know sometimes when I see the US flag flying in the breeze, I get all teared up as well. 

Our country is going to hell, and it makes me so sad and afraid to where we are heading. The freedoms our forefathers fought for with their lives for are being sold to the highest bidder. 

 Dear God, please help us.