Here I am again. So far I have gotten about 2 1/2 hours of sleep, and my alarm goes off in 1 1/2 hours. Here I sit. My feet are so swollen I can't get comfortable. I took more lasix to try to get the swelling down before I have to go to class. My babysitting plans fell through so far. I was trying to get him in the campus child care lab, but they are already booked. Official signup isn't till Monday for kids previously not going there, but they are full with ones already in. :( I called my friend that lives in that town, and she still babysits, but doesn't know if she is going to have any openings yet or not. She said she should know in a couple of weeks. I hate to have to rush to school, then rush all the way home after classes. I hope if this other doesn't work out that I can at least get him into his old sitter in the next town. I sure hate to do that though. The good thing about that would be that it would be easier for him to take swimming lessons again. He barely got started last year.
I am trying to memorize the subnet table. I don't get it at all. We are supposed to have a quiz on it today, and a big test either Monday orWednesday next week. We still have to have our test on acronyms too. I am looking forward to that. <----- still sarcastic on minute amount of sleep. I am going to give it a go again. My brain craves rest, but my body doesn't want to comply.
God bless, and please say a prayer for me. I feel life closing around me like a shroud at times. Thanks.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005
The birthday is over...
and the night is winding down. I think b'f had a good day. He kept saying he did. He was upset this morning when I called him. He had been thinking about us ditching him and his son yesterday. Its ok if they cancel us, but something is up if we cancel on them. Last summer we didn't get to see his son hardly at all because he was in band and in parades all over the country- side. We weren't invited. He said later he didn't think we would want to go. I looked at it as a break, but he didn't see yesterday that way. Oh well. I had my defense all planned, and he would have felt like shit when it was all done, but I didn't want to do that on his birthday. I'm glad he didn't bring it up today after we got there.
We got there barely in time for church, then went to KFC buffet as planned. Next, we went hiking through the woods. Not the greatest thing to do on a full stomach, and the humidity was up today. I got some good pictures though. Next he decided on Dairy Queen. The boys got into it some there. Then we decided to play pool. Big mistake. His son never takes responsibility for himself. He is perfect in every way. We were all lousy today, and I think we all had heat stroke or something. B'f was better than the rest of us put together, which still wasn't saying alot. Well, the favorite son was having a bad time of it, because all the pool cues were crap. None of them were any good, and he tried them all. The table was messed up somehow, and no one set the balls up for him like they did for the rest of us. Geesh. Anyway, b'f and son were on one team, and me and G were on the other. B'f scratched on the 8 ball. Favorite son got IN HIS FACE, yelling at him like he was a dog telling him it was all his fault that they lost. I blew my cool. B'f was standing there taking it. FROM A 12 YEAR OLD!!!!!!! I blasted him a new one. I told him NEVER talk to his father that way, and he should be ashamed. He is rude, and disrespectful. Here it is his dad's b'day and he is in his face screaming. He looked at his dad like "aren't you going to yell at her for talking to me like that????" and his dad didn't say a word. I apologized later to b'f for going off on his son, but told him I couldn't stand it when he did that. He said he thought it was "sweet". I told him tonight on messenger he is going to have to demand respect, otherwise it is only going to get worse. My son is 8, and he has tried to test the waters, and he barely gets his feet wet before he realizes its not the way to go. My son can be a jerk, but his son takes the cake. B'f used to have the attitude that since he doesn't live with him that his job is just to sit back and see how he grows up. I told him since we have the job of parents, its our job to make sure they grow up to be the best human beings they can be, whether they like us all the time or not. I realize that is easier said than done, since I don't have to share the parenting with anyone else. I can be cavalier with my attitude, because my son has no one else to run to or want to live with if I piss him off. But I know his son won't respect him if he gives him free reign to act anyway he wants. He sees him as a wimp and a loser now as it is. To stand there and calmly take it while he is being screamed at by a kid whose mom still wipes his nose for him, really pisses me off. That's one reason I find it hard to respect him as well.
Well, I am off to bed. I was up from 2 till 5:30 this am, then got back up at 7:30 and had to get ready for an hour and 15 minute drive to b'fs house. I am wiped out. Good thing the sermon was kind of quiet. No one mentioned me snoring, so I must have been quiet. (oops!)
God Bless, and pray for parenting skills for parents everywhere. Its a tough job, and the pay really sucks, but the fringes are out of this world. ;)
We got there barely in time for church, then went to KFC buffet as planned. Next, we went hiking through the woods. Not the greatest thing to do on a full stomach, and the humidity was up today. I got some good pictures though. Next he decided on Dairy Queen. The boys got into it some there. Then we decided to play pool. Big mistake. His son never takes responsibility for himself. He is perfect in every way. We were all lousy today, and I think we all had heat stroke or something. B'f was better than the rest of us put together, which still wasn't saying alot. Well, the favorite son was having a bad time of it, because all the pool cues were crap. None of them were any good, and he tried them all. The table was messed up somehow, and no one set the balls up for him like they did for the rest of us. Geesh. Anyway, b'f and son were on one team, and me and G were on the other. B'f scratched on the 8 ball. Favorite son got IN HIS FACE, yelling at him like he was a dog telling him it was all his fault that they lost. I blew my cool. B'f was standing there taking it. FROM A 12 YEAR OLD!!!!!!! I blasted him a new one. I told him NEVER talk to his father that way, and he should be ashamed. He is rude, and disrespectful. Here it is his dad's b'day and he is in his face screaming. He looked at his dad like "aren't you going to yell at her for talking to me like that????" and his dad didn't say a word. I apologized later to b'f for going off on his son, but told him I couldn't stand it when he did that. He said he thought it was "sweet". I told him tonight on messenger he is going to have to demand respect, otherwise it is only going to get worse. My son is 8, and he has tried to test the waters, and he barely gets his feet wet before he realizes its not the way to go. My son can be a jerk, but his son takes the cake. B'f used to have the attitude that since he doesn't live with him that his job is just to sit back and see how he grows up. I told him since we have the job of parents, its our job to make sure they grow up to be the best human beings they can be, whether they like us all the time or not. I realize that is easier said than done, since I don't have to share the parenting with anyone else. I can be cavalier with my attitude, because my son has no one else to run to or want to live with if I piss him off. But I know his son won't respect him if he gives him free reign to act anyway he wants. He sees him as a wimp and a loser now as it is. To stand there and calmly take it while he is being screamed at by a kid whose mom still wipes his nose for him, really pisses me off. That's one reason I find it hard to respect him as well.
Well, I am off to bed. I was up from 2 till 5:30 this am, then got back up at 7:30 and had to get ready for an hour and 15 minute drive to b'fs house. I am wiped out. Good thing the sermon was kind of quiet. No one mentioned me snoring, so I must have been quiet. (oops!)
God Bless, and pray for parenting skills for parents everywhere. Its a tough job, and the pay really sucks, but the fringes are out of this world. ;)
Birthdays
I woke up at 1:48 am. My son was telling me how he discovered a new show that was great. Mutant X. Lovely, just lovely. I don't know if this is what he should be watching at almost 2 in the morning all by himself. I told him he should be sleeping. He said he tried and tried (as he is sitting bolt upright watching this "new" show) but is too excited about b'f birthday party. He loves birthday parties. Bless his heart. We are going to go to church with them, take him to KFC buffet for lunch, and he mentioned his son knows where some trails are we can walk. It is a good birthday for us old folk, but G won't be thrilled. He is used to parties with hats, coordinating plates, cups, and cake, a table full of gifts, and balloons hanging from the clothes line.
I remember one birthday I had. We were living in the big house, (where we are at now) so he had to be 4 or more. I told him he had to be nice to me, cos it was my birthday. He gave me a big hug, and had a look of glee on his face. It was a normal evening, but as it wore on, he was more and more perplexed. He came in and asked me when everyone was going to be here. He was concerned, it was getting late and no one showed up. He makes my heart melt so much. I told him I was spending my birthday with the person I loved the most, and it was where I wanted to be. I sure didn't lack hugs that day. He is a wonderful kid.
Needless to say, he fell asleep as soon as we had our discussion about him not sleeping, and now I can't sleep. I was just thinking about how G treats the people that are important to him. He amazes me and brings such joy to my heart. When he was little and used to sleep in bed with me, he would wake up in the middle of the night and root around on the bed. Once he found me, he would give me a hug and kiss, a "wuv you mommy" and drop back to sleep. Now if he gets up in the middle of the night to get a drink, I can almost always be assured to get a hug out of the deal. Sometimes he climbs in with me, but being all elbows and knees after a bit I send him back to his bed.
My niece is pregnant. I am so thrilled for her. This will be her first. We are not "huggy" people, but I gave her a big hug and was choking up. They are going to be great parents. We found out in a not so good way, from someone else, but she was planning on surprising us at our cookout we had.
My sister came today, and we had a great time. G just loves her to pieces. He had to show her some of his game cube games. She bought him a real golf set, so he was getting pointers. She can be quite the taskmaster. I have to learn all the golf lingo now, and she is going to try to come down more often and take him to the driving range. She called when she got home to make sure he cleaned his clubs well. I took a lot of pictures. She was showing him the golfers stance, how to follow through, hold his head, don't stop in the middle of the swing, etc. He looked like a mannequin trying to stand like he was supposed to. They had a great time hitting them into the field. Of course, after that they had to come in and play some Mario Golf. LOL He won.
I am going to try the sleep thing again. Then he will probably wake up. Wanting to talk. And I will listen.
God bless, and bless babies and children that make peoples hearts sing. :) (Bless the person who came up with spellcheck too. I never thought I would use mannequin in a sentence, so it was disposable information. :) )
I remember one birthday I had. We were living in the big house, (where we are at now) so he had to be 4 or more. I told him he had to be nice to me, cos it was my birthday. He gave me a big hug, and had a look of glee on his face. It was a normal evening, but as it wore on, he was more and more perplexed. He came in and asked me when everyone was going to be here. He was concerned, it was getting late and no one showed up. He makes my heart melt so much. I told him I was spending my birthday with the person I loved the most, and it was where I wanted to be. I sure didn't lack hugs that day. He is a wonderful kid.
Needless to say, he fell asleep as soon as we had our discussion about him not sleeping, and now I can't sleep. I was just thinking about how G treats the people that are important to him. He amazes me and brings such joy to my heart. When he was little and used to sleep in bed with me, he would wake up in the middle of the night and root around on the bed. Once he found me, he would give me a hug and kiss, a "wuv you mommy" and drop back to sleep. Now if he gets up in the middle of the night to get a drink, I can almost always be assured to get a hug out of the deal. Sometimes he climbs in with me, but being all elbows and knees after a bit I send him back to his bed.
My niece is pregnant. I am so thrilled for her. This will be her first. We are not "huggy" people, but I gave her a big hug and was choking up. They are going to be great parents. We found out in a not so good way, from someone else, but she was planning on surprising us at our cookout we had.
My sister came today, and we had a great time. G just loves her to pieces. He had to show her some of his game cube games. She bought him a real golf set, so he was getting pointers. She can be quite the taskmaster. I have to learn all the golf lingo now, and she is going to try to come down more often and take him to the driving range. She called when she got home to make sure he cleaned his clubs well. I took a lot of pictures. She was showing him the golfers stance, how to follow through, hold his head, don't stop in the middle of the swing, etc. He looked like a mannequin trying to stand like he was supposed to. They had a great time hitting them into the field. Of course, after that they had to come in and play some Mario Golf. LOL He won.
I am going to try the sleep thing again. Then he will probably wake up. Wanting to talk. And I will listen.
God bless, and bless babies and children that make peoples hearts sing. :) (Bless the person who came up with spellcheck too. I never thought I would use mannequin in a sentence, so it was disposable information. :) )
Thursday, April 14, 2005
YAY!
No assignments due today, so I may do the one that is due tomorrow. That would be great to get it done early, so I'm not FREAKIN OUT! What a novel idea, to get something done ahead of time. It may be the way to go. :) If I can get ahead, I like to really get ahead. I think thats why I have been so upset with this semester. I can barely keep up, and can't get ahead at all. One of my instructors said that since our class was ahead that there was no assignment this week. I emailed him back and just said "Bless you!". I hope he got a smile out of it.
My kid is grounded from tv, video games, and his computer till Saturday. Yesterday he was playing with some kids that live across town. Next thing I knew they were gone. (Their grandparents were working on the property next to mine) I knew where he was, so I wasn't worried. If he would have asked, I would have let him. One minute they were there, and the next they weren't. When he got home I asked him what he thought his punishment would be. He said nothing because it was MY responsibility to not let him go. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. He saw it my way when I told him I still get to watch tv, play on my computer, and play his video games if I want. He hates when I win. Before he went to sleep I told him how much I love him and worry about someone taking off with him. He has this thing where he thinks he is invincible. He thinks he can put his hands up like Superman and stop cars, etc. If he had more common sense about that kind of stuff I wouldn't worry so much.
My internet connection is much better today. I am ripping some of my tunes onto the computer. I wouldn't do it before because it wouldn't put the album info with it. The connection was crap. Today its Garth Brooks for now. I still wish he was with Sandy. He seemed so much in love with her, and helped me to think it was possible to really be in love. Another dream dashed. I really don't like country music. If you're in love, its fine, but if your not it can really suck.
My sister is coming Saturday. It will be great to see her. Have I mentioned that she is a great person? (Pretty too.) I really wish she lived closer. She is great with G.
I still don't know what we are going to do for b/f birthday. He wanted to go to Terre Haute for lunch, but then remembered he has to have his kid back by 6. I don't see it as a problem, but he does. Oh well.
Well, clothes are in the dryer, dishes are done, music is a rippin', and I am drinking my 64 oz. bucket o' water. I may just take a shower than tackle some computer logic. Two more tutorials and a test and that whole class is done. YAYAYAYAYAY! There is a light at the end of this long dark lonely tunnel.
God Bless, and don't forget to boogie from time to time. It can do wonders for your complexion. :)
My kid is grounded from tv, video games, and his computer till Saturday. Yesterday he was playing with some kids that live across town. Next thing I knew they were gone. (Their grandparents were working on the property next to mine) I knew where he was, so I wasn't worried. If he would have asked, I would have let him. One minute they were there, and the next they weren't. When he got home I asked him what he thought his punishment would be. He said nothing because it was MY responsibility to not let him go. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. He saw it my way when I told him I still get to watch tv, play on my computer, and play his video games if I want. He hates when I win. Before he went to sleep I told him how much I love him and worry about someone taking off with him. He has this thing where he thinks he is invincible. He thinks he can put his hands up like Superman and stop cars, etc. If he had more common sense about that kind of stuff I wouldn't worry so much.
My internet connection is much better today. I am ripping some of my tunes onto the computer. I wouldn't do it before because it wouldn't put the album info with it. The connection was crap. Today its Garth Brooks for now. I still wish he was with Sandy. He seemed so much in love with her, and helped me to think it was possible to really be in love. Another dream dashed. I really don't like country music. If you're in love, its fine, but if your not it can really suck.
My sister is coming Saturday. It will be great to see her. Have I mentioned that she is a great person? (Pretty too.) I really wish she lived closer. She is great with G.
I still don't know what we are going to do for b/f birthday. He wanted to go to Terre Haute for lunch, but then remembered he has to have his kid back by 6. I don't see it as a problem, but he does. Oh well.
Well, clothes are in the dryer, dishes are done, music is a rippin', and I am drinking my 64 oz. bucket o' water. I may just take a shower than tackle some computer logic. Two more tutorials and a test and that whole class is done. YAYAYAYAYAY! There is a light at the end of this long dark lonely tunnel.
God Bless, and don't forget to boogie from time to time. It can do wonders for your complexion. :)
Monday, April 11, 2005
Google it!
I was messing around before class and googled Angelize. I was on page 4. I thought that was pretty good. I was shocked before when I googled a screen name on a message board that I used and one of my posts showed up. I learned then that you can google just about anything. I googled SunGrooveTheory, and she was the only one that popped up. I can't imagine that she is the only one. (wink wink) It was fun while it lasted.
I got my assignment done tonight and turned in with 1 1/2 hours to spare. I was sweating it. I hated to wait till today to do it, but I didn't have a lot of choice. I have an assignment to do tomorrow, and a test to study for for Wednesday. Someone gave me the answers to the assignment due tomorrow. I didn't even look at them. I want to learn it, and I can't do it that way. She was trying to be nice, so I took them, said thanks, then filed them in my backpack. Of course, I should have been very noble and either told her "no thanks" or thrown them away when I got home, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, well, just in case I get stuck. Maybe. I think its just a comfort to know its there. At least I don't have to do a project this time. Just write some code (EEK!) and answer some questions.
I am going to try to go to bed. The adrenalin trying to get that stupid outline done and the quiz taken wouldn't let me go to sleep yet. I am winding down, and can almost feel my head touch the nice cushiony pillow. I played one of my cd's (Billy Squire, of course I had to dance my way out the door when I left. LOL) today while I was at school full blast so hopefully there are no critters in the attic again. Hopefully the power will stay on and I can turn the tv up so I don't hear them if they are there.
God bless.
I got my assignment done tonight and turned in with 1 1/2 hours to spare. I was sweating it. I hated to wait till today to do it, but I didn't have a lot of choice. I have an assignment to do tomorrow, and a test to study for for Wednesday. Someone gave me the answers to the assignment due tomorrow. I didn't even look at them. I want to learn it, and I can't do it that way. She was trying to be nice, so I took them, said thanks, then filed them in my backpack. Of course, I should have been very noble and either told her "no thanks" or thrown them away when I got home, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, well, just in case I get stuck. Maybe. I think its just a comfort to know its there. At least I don't have to do a project this time. Just write some code (EEK!) and answer some questions.
I am going to try to go to bed. The adrenalin trying to get that stupid outline done and the quiz taken wouldn't let me go to sleep yet. I am winding down, and can almost feel my head touch the nice cushiony pillow. I played one of my cd's (Billy Squire, of course I had to dance my way out the door when I left. LOL) today while I was at school full blast so hopefully there are no critters in the attic again. Hopefully the power will stay on and I can turn the tv up so I don't hear them if they are there.
God bless.
Who needs sleep anyway?
Last night was a sleeping disaster. I was trying to go to bed. Really. I don't recall if I mentioned the problems I have with my house or not. I love my house. It has a few problems, but its mine. There is a problem with the roof. No obvious holes on top or anything, but the way it was constructed, the porch roof is "built into" the house roof part. The rafters extend out the front, and that is the porch roof. I know I didn't explain that very well. Anyway, my porch roof is falling apart. For every place we find and patch, another one opens up. The reason they open up, is because raccoons like to reside in my attic without a thank you, reservation, or anything. Of course, this drives me totally insane. The thought of them getting out the attic somehow and running rampant through the house fills me with such fear, I know to others I seem irrational. (after 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night, I look irrational and feel like I just walked out of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something). I have been assured that there is no way they can get in the house, but these are the same people who can't figure out how they are getting in the attic. They get inbetween the ceiling in the living room and the floor of the bedroom, and run around like crazy. I, of course, beat on the ceiling with a broom handle trying to scare them outside. The ceiling in my living room has little spots all over it that are indentions of the broom handle. It looks like hell now, and its a reminder all the time that there are critters that have access to parts of my house whenever they want it. It must have been about 1 am as I was trying to sleep that I heard "it." I did the broom thing. No help. My kid won a prize for selling crap for school that has a siren/alarm/PA system on it. (a hat that has 2 drink holders on it with a giant straw so you can drink out of either side) While this great prize usually has no battery, and stays out of my sight, it was placed strategically in the living room, fresh battery, and could be heard blasting in one of the 8 different blast sounds this morning. It sure got it running, and after about an hour it quieted down. I left the light on, thinking that if it got out of the attic and in the house that it wouldn't go in a lighted room. (I was desperate for sleep, and thought it couldn't hurt.) So, I am sleeping away, for about an hour, when the power goes out. I was alerted when the UPS from the computer started its infernal beeping that is loud enough to wake the neighbors and their children who don't even live at home anymore. I got up, shut the computer off, lit candles, tried to call the 800 number to the electric company from my cheap little cell phone and find out I can't because there is a restriction on it, (first I knew of that) so I had to call from the only other phone in the house that doesn't depend on electricity, and then sat watch. I finally remembered the little clock that has an alarm and hunted it down. I get it set by flashlight, and by this time its a little after 4. The power came blazing back on at 5:07. I roll over, go back to sleep, and the alarm blasts again at 5:30. Time to get up from my restful sleep and start the day. I have to go to school. I have a test. I have to get my summer schedule lined out. I have to get my unemployment paper turned in so I can get paid. I have to get my sons prescription filled so he doesn't get kicked out of the second grade. I hope the rest of the week doesn't go in the same vein.
God bless, and have a great week. (and please pray that the raccoons can find a quieter place to live. I plan on making it pretty miserable for them here.)
God bless, and have a great week. (and please pray that the raccoons can find a quieter place to live. I plan on making it pretty miserable for them here.)
Sunday, April 10, 2005
I NEED SLEEP
but I can't. And I can't just lay there, waiting for the sleep to come to me. I am not patient that way. My eyes hurt I am so sleepy. Soon it will come. But I can't just lay there.
I got my paper done today. YAY! I typed up a bunch of notes for my test in hardware tomorrow too. I looked through the summer catalog to see what classes I want to take so I can discuss them with my advisor tomorrow. I just want to get it done, so I can plan the summer better. I am trying to get G in the child care lab there. I may have mentioned that. I think it would be great in that I wouldn't have to race home. We could go out to eat, or I could take him out to the lake and show him where I got poison ivy on my ass. LOL. That will stay my secret. I don't want him to know his mom was a tramp. It was ok though. I was in love. I really was. The first love. Not the first time, but the first love. We were like bunnies too. Oh how I miss it. Oh well. At least I have fond memories. "sigh". He is the one that is gone now. Such a waste. He is missed. I have a lot of fond memories of him, and not just naked. "sigh". He treated me very well for the most part. The booze really got in the way though. Life goes on.
B'f has hinted a few times about me checking out the hunky guys on campus. I know it bothers him, but I can't help that. I don't check them out. I know none of the guys on campus want me "that way". If I was outgoing and confidant I might, but I'm not, so I won't. I am a grownup and I can face that fact. I will just continue to be my charming fun-loving self.
I hope with my summer classes I can get them close together and won't have to study at home much. I want to get out and move. My ass is getting wider. I hate that. I gave up for now on the exercising and stuff, but I need to get back at it. It felt great walking through that woods yesterday. We went almost 2 miles just on that one trail. It would have been nice to have a drink when we got back, but I forgot. I haven't even been getting my daily water amount in either. Failure failure failure. I don't know why I have such a hard time sticking with stuff. Maybe if I could SEE a difference????? That would help. I felt better, and now I don't, so that should be motivation right there.
I am getting tired of whining. Tired of thinking about it and feeling guilty cos I didn't do what I intended to do. Its only hurting me (and the people that have to look at me).
I am going to bed. This is crap, and I am going to post it anyway, just cos I can. Only 4 more weeks of classes, finals included. YAY! Maybe I will feel normal for a week or two.
God Bless, and remember, fat people need love to.
I got my paper done today. YAY! I typed up a bunch of notes for my test in hardware tomorrow too. I looked through the summer catalog to see what classes I want to take so I can discuss them with my advisor tomorrow. I just want to get it done, so I can plan the summer better. I am trying to get G in the child care lab there. I may have mentioned that. I think it would be great in that I wouldn't have to race home. We could go out to eat, or I could take him out to the lake and show him where I got poison ivy on my ass. LOL. That will stay my secret. I don't want him to know his mom was a tramp. It was ok though. I was in love. I really was. The first love. Not the first time, but the first love. We were like bunnies too. Oh how I miss it. Oh well. At least I have fond memories. "sigh". He is the one that is gone now. Such a waste. He is missed. I have a lot of fond memories of him, and not just naked. "sigh". He treated me very well for the most part. The booze really got in the way though. Life goes on.
B'f has hinted a few times about me checking out the hunky guys on campus. I know it bothers him, but I can't help that. I don't check them out. I know none of the guys on campus want me "that way". If I was outgoing and confidant I might, but I'm not, so I won't. I am a grownup and I can face that fact. I will just continue to be my charming fun-loving self.
I hope with my summer classes I can get them close together and won't have to study at home much. I want to get out and move. My ass is getting wider. I hate that. I gave up for now on the exercising and stuff, but I need to get back at it. It felt great walking through that woods yesterday. We went almost 2 miles just on that one trail. It would have been nice to have a drink when we got back, but I forgot. I haven't even been getting my daily water amount in either. Failure failure failure. I don't know why I have such a hard time sticking with stuff. Maybe if I could SEE a difference????? That would help. I felt better, and now I don't, so that should be motivation right there.
I am getting tired of whining. Tired of thinking about it and feeling guilty cos I didn't do what I intended to do. Its only hurting me (and the people that have to look at me).
I am going to bed. This is crap, and I am going to post it anyway, just cos I can. Only 4 more weeks of classes, finals included. YAY! Maybe I will feel normal for a week or two.
God Bless, and remember, fat people need love to.
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